Finding Myself, Unmasking ADHD, and Building HerClarity
- Katarina
- Nov 30, 2024
- 4 min read
Hi! I’m Katarina, the founder of HerClarity, a space designed to empower women with ADHD to embrace their unique strengths and build lives filled with purpose and joy. My journey with ADHD has been one of self-discovery and growth, shaping not only who I am but also the vision behind HerClarity.
When I was diagnosed with ADHD at 28, everything began to shift. I started learning about ADHD, and in doing so, I began unmasking who I truly was. I leaned into what genuinely makes me happy, gave myself grace, and started letting go of the relentless self-criticism that had followed me for so long.
When I set out to create HerClarity last March (2024), I thought it was simply a resource for other women with ADHD. What I didn’t realize at the time was how much of this journey would be about me as well. Yes, I want to help others navigate their lives and careers, but I’m also still navigating my own. HerClarity is becoming the community I’ve always needed.
A Lifetime of Masking
For most of my life, I felt like I was constantly in motion, trying to meet expectations that never seemed to fit. School, work, relationships… they all came with invisible rules I didn’t even know I was breaking. Like so many women with ADHD, I became an expert at "masking," hiding the parts of myself that felt messy, unpredictable, or out of place.
I covered up my disorganization with perfectionism. I smoothed over my impulsivity with self-deprecating humor. And I apologized constantly for everything. I thought that if I could just work harder, if I could somehow be more like everyone else, the chaos would quiet down.
Spoiler alert: it didn’t.
The Wake-Up Call
The turning point came when I finally got my ADHD diagnosis (and discovered I’m also partially dyslexic). Learning what ADHD really is, not just the stereotypes about hyperactive kids or forgetful adults, was life-changing. I came to understand how nuanced ADHD can be, especially for women. It often looks like overwhelm, chronic self-doubt, and a relentless inner voice whispering, “You’re not good enough.”
That understanding wasn’t just eye-opening; it was a relief. I finally had a name for the patterns I’d spent my entire life trying to untangle. More importantly, I realized I wasn’t broken; I was wired differently. That realization planted a tiny seed of compassion within me. For the first time, I began to give myself the grace I had always denied myself.
But here’s the thing about seeds: they take time and care to grow. It wasn’t enough to intellectually understand my ADHD. I had to unlearn years of masking, self-criticism, and "shoulds" to reconnect with the person I truly am.
Unmasking in a Masked World
One of the hardest parts of unmasking is how vulnerable it feels. For women in corporate environments, like I’ve been, this vulnerability can seem impossible. We’re taught to be confident, polished, and put-together 100% of the time. Add ADHD into the mix, and you end up carrying two masks:
The professional mask, where there’s no room for perceived weakness.
The ADHD mask, where you hide struggles with focus, organization, and emotional regulation.
The result? Exhaustion and burnout.
For years, I believed that asking for help or admitting I was overwhelmed would make me look weak or incapable. I was so hard on myself for not being able to keep up in certain work environments, constantly wondering how everyone else managed (or seemed to). So I just kept trying harder.
But masking isn’t strength; it’s survival. And survival isn’t sustainable.
Finding Clarity, Finding Myself
HerClarity was born from my decision to stop merely surviving and start truly living. I want to create a life where, when I’m 80 years old, I can look back and feel proud, not of getting through the days, but of living them fully.
In building that life for myself, I knew I wanted to create a space for other women with ADHD. A space where they could feel seen, supported, and celebrated, not despite their differences, but because of them.
Through coaching (coming soon!), resources, and community, HerClarity is here to help women unmask, not just in their careers, but in every part of their lives. Unmasking isn’t just about acknowledging the challenges of ADHD; it’s about rediscovering joy, creativity, and authenticity.
What Makes Me Happy
These days, I’m still always a work in progress (aren’t we all?), but I’m finally giving myself permission to do more of what lights me up: getting creative, connecting with other women, and building a life that feels good to me.
I’m learning that it’s okay to let go of the constant striving for “perfect.” It’s okay to create systems that work for my brain, even if they’re different from what everyone else uses. And it’s necessary to celebrate the small wins along the way.
A Community for Us
If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this, it’s this: You are not alone. Whether you’re just starting to learn about ADHD, struggling with masking, or trying to figure out what truly makes you happy, there’s a community here for you.
HerClarity isn’t just my story; it’s ours. Together, we can unmask, embrace our unique strengths, and build lives and careers that align with who we really are.
Thank you for being here, for being your own unique self, and for letting me share this journey with you.
Here’s to discovering our own unique clarity,
Katarina
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